Coping with Grief

Coping with Grief

Grief is a complex emotion, and one of the reasons it’s so difficult to understand is that every single person on earth experiences and processes grief differently. While grief is often associated with the loss of a loved one, friend, or pet, it can often be associated with the loss, death, or ending of other things as well. The important thing to realize is that grief can be found in all parts of life, and no matter what you are grieving over, your feelings are valid.

Dealing with the more traditional and known form of grief, the loss of a loved one, is extremely difficult. But the best thing to remember is that you aren’t alone. Everyone has lost someone important in their life, and it only becomes more common as we get older, though that doesn’t necessarily make it less painful. It can however be easier in the sense that we can all learn what helps us process the loss. It may, at the time, seem easier to push the pain away and bury it deep. While it may help the pain subside at the moment, it’s like plugging a hole with duct tape. At first, it might hold, but it will eventually leak.

As hard as it may be, facing the emotions can be extremely cathartic and healing, and it allows you to replace the sadness with the happiness of good memories. Feel the emotions, and let them out in a healthy way. For some, this can be sharing stories, doing a hobby, or even screaming into a pillow. But it is important to manage the emotions much like you would the pressure in a pressure cooker. This isn’t to say that it is easy, and the amount of time it takes varies from person to person. And having someone to talk to such as other family, a significant other, or your therapist can be a healthy way to assess how you feel and move forward.

The other forms of grief are numerous and vary in intensity from the equivalent of the loss of a loved one to a sense of melancholy. Regardless of where you fall on this spectrum, it is important to know that you aren’t alone. Often these feelings arise during periods of sudden change, though some, like graduations, are expected. The fear of what’s next often underlies these forms of grief. Time moves forward and that is scary. With that, we, and the people around us, change as well. Sometimes people grow apart and while in the moment it can be painful, being able to move forward and learn is important for dealing with this form of grief. As with changes in life like a graduation, and the change or loss of job, being able to look back and learn while moving forward is one of the best ways to get out of challenging feelings. This doesn’t have to be immediate, in fact, it’s ok that you take your time to process and accept what moving forward means for you. You should also attempt to talk to others, especially those in the same situation who are likely to have the same emotions you are.

Something that applies to all forms of grief is the benefit of being outside. I know how hard it can be to leave the coziness of a blanket-filled warm bed surrounded by all things comfy. However, staying hidden away inside for a prolonged period can make it harder and take longer for progress to be made in the grief process. It’s ok to do that for a little while, even I do it, but it is important to go outside and feel the sun on your face and grass under your feet. The simple blood flow from even a small walk around the yard can get the blood flowing and give you some of those good feeling chemicals that you get from being active. And the change of scenery can help you to change your mindset, even if just for a minute.

Grief and loss are very normal parts of life that unfortunately we all have to deal with. And while everyone deals with them differently, just remember that you aren’t alone, and there is always someone to talk to, and it will always get better.